Report 37

(Note:  In honor of not trying to do two things at once, just a note that I might not make it to today's meeting for holiday work obligations.  If I don't get another chance, hope you all have a good holiday and Happy New Year!)

Make your own homework assignment

Preface:  Felt a little indecisive about picking homework for myself -- that is, I had two in mind and then picked one, but then kept wondering if maybe I should have picked the other.  A little like Sunday, when I tried to participate in a conference call while logged into SL at the same time -- a bit of a disaster.  Later that day, yet another set of workshop choices but without the option of waffling -- picking something is definitely easier than not deciding at all.  I guess part of the trick is to find some basis for choosing that is more "alive", that isn't just a sense of obligation, an overly constrained sense of self/personality -- those choices are hard to stick with.

Homework:  In the days after the two hour breathe, there was a strong sense of emotions and mind planted firmly in and as the body;  wanted to stay with this a bit.  It surprised me how palpable everything was -- even the most distracted, free-floating notions and ideas could be felt as part of the body, the body could be sensed as a ground for these distractions.  The "runaway train" felt more solid, more like the train rather than the runaway, and so more maneuverable, leveragable (although maybe the sense of body-groundedness was enough so that I didn't feel like I had to constantly direct or correct either).  This was the particular sense in which conditioning influences felt both more real and more free for me.

It's also been really fun.  A memory of being 5 or 7, listening to the birds, a sort of fairy world with my mom and me and the sort of body sense I had at that age, more funny dreams.