Report 93

How to "be real" as a person?

So, what is it to not be real? it suggests being phoney, deceptive, lying, putting up a false front, cheating, pretending to know more than we do, bluffing. Or milder forms such as trying to give people a good impression of ourselves because we want them to like us or because we want to please them.

The topic also seems to point at the role playing we do. Is it possible not to play roles? In life it is necessary to play the role of father, mother, teacher, employee etc. to a certain extent. The problem comes when we identify too much with the roles. They are only temporary expedients.

Perhaps we are afraid of revealing what we think is our real selves. Roles are a kind of mask we can use to hide behind. Maybe we don't even know what our real self looks like – we fool ourselves too. Paradoxically, our "real" self is probably a far better, nicer person than the front we often put up.

So maybe we need to practice opening our real self to others even though it may make us feel vulnerable. And lately I have been investigating negative feelings and emotions from my early life and childhood that are buried deep down. It is a good practice to try to get to the root of these negative repressed emotions from childhood and feed them with positivity and love.