Report 45

  Good article at: http://3.ly/fP8Q

I just realized that this koan is what Eliza, some others and myself were having a discussion about in pab recently regarding playing roles - (Sartre's waiter and inauthenticity). Our 'true face' is the way we were before we started donning masks and trying on different personas in order to survive as children. Or when we started defining ourselves from how we acted or reacted to events in the past. 'I am a shy/talkative person, etc.' How much of this is our nature and how much is how we ourselves have conditioned ourselves and been conditioned by the culture we live in? And 'reality' is then filtered through these perceptions. We allowed ourselves to get moulded into a set of behaviour patterns (set in our ways) and have lost our original, fresh way of perceiving and dealing with life. That can make us dogmatic, unresponsive to change, inflexible, clinging to certain views and ideas. Why do we do this? Fear? But why fear change so much? We cling to safety and security in the familiar even though it forces us to act in ways that may be entirely inappropriate and ineffective.

Questions:

 Are you being authentic right at this moment?

If not - in what way are you being inauthentic and why?

'Follow the inner witness rather than the outer ones'

What is 'the inner witness?' Is it the awareness, the silent watcher behind our busy thoughts and points of view? I seem to spend so much of my time absorbed in amusing others rather than helping them - spending too much time on Facebook and Twitter (or even Pab) having shallow trivial conversations. Too much time spent like this must make one 'inauthentic' surely. These are 'outer ones' I think.

Am I too influenced by others instead of using wisdom gained from my own direct experience?  I am noticing how much I want to turn to the thoughts of others and quote them instead of thinking for myself. Seems there is a middle way here, a balance between learning from the experience and wisdom of teachers, and adapting and applying the lessons to my own circumstances.

Or why not just live life from my own intuition and experience instead of getting confused by all these teachings? Teachings are only crutches drawn from the experience of others. My own experience and situation is far more immediate and relevant. What to do? Keep coming back to the awareness behind the endless points of view and rest in it for short periods as well as spending time in meditation practice.

Questions:

Why worry so much about what others think about us?