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With this excercize I suffered, not terribly, but I want to acknowledge that I ran up against 'self' quite a bit. :)

I suffered restless 'waiting', especially 'not meditating' (whch I honestly didn't think I approach as something to do* but hm I can be a bit intense as it turns out ;-) ), and not being up and about the decluttering process I'd been putting my hands to as a way of working out/stretching insight into circumstances (integration).

Staying with that I could see that the most acute forms of suffering in my circumstances are felt as 'waiting', and that I 'hold on' to a kind of charge generally... a kind of reserve of spiritual energy. I know that sounds odd. It is my best shot of describing. :)

Distributing this energy is something I've been paying attention to lately, and when i setttled into the restlessness I experienced it as shedding the 'super' from the natural... and getting comfortable with the relief of a kind of 'normal'... nothing special, yet soft/light. I had to shed some fear of abandonment to do so.

So, the attitude I began with was one of looking at circumstances/situations unevenly, in a choppy way... perhaps dwelling on the 'shinier' things and thereby being somewhat disociated. At the end, there was a simplicity which felt very even.

At homework session, Mitsu shared some thoughts on *not meditating* and also of not carrying around our 'tools''... So there comes a shift of living as though we don't have to be 'fortified' for everything 'just in case'... which Gaya astutely observed is "clutter!"  

This is definitely helpful to see, and this excercize something to come back to often.  

A funny note to share:

On the way to school my son said to me that I'm the only one he knows, who doesn't have any problems. When I asked him what he meant, he said I don't have problems of my own, just other people's. haha        
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Days later and I am aware of the restlessness still, maybe because I wasn't before. I am also aware of a *continual* falling away... a spontaneous process of shedding and distribution ocurring as a matter of course.

I am also still giving away, organizing, etc. Saturday I had a conversation with my grandfather which was very open and exposing in some ways, but it was easy... felt like the same kind of thing.