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With this excercize I suffered, not terribly, but I want to acknowledge that I ran up against self a bit. :)

I suffered restless 'waiting', 'not meditating' (whch I honestly didn't think I approach as something to do* but hm I can be a bit intense as it turns out ;-) ), and not being up and about the decluttering process I'd been putting my hands to as a way of working out/stretching insight into circumstances (integration).

Staying with that I could see that the most acute forms of suffering in my circumstances are felt as 'waiting', and that I 'hold on' to a kind of charge generally... a kind of reserve of spiritual energy. I know that sounds odd. It is my best shot of describing. :)

Distributing this energy is something I've been paying attention to lately, and when i setttled into the restlessness I experienced it as shedding the 'super' from the natural... and getting comfortable with the relief of a kind of 'normal'... nothing special, yet soft/light. I had to shed some fear of abandonment to do so.

So, the attitude I began with was one of looking at circumstances/situations unevenly, in a choppy way... perhaps dwelling on the 'shinier' things and thereby being somewhat disociated. At the end, there was a simplicity which felt very even.

At homework session, Mitsu shared some thoughts on not meditating and also of not carrying around our 'tools', and I would add even of insght (!). This is definitely helpful to see, and this excercize *surprisingly* something to come back to often.  

A funny note to share:

On the way to school my son said to me that I'm the only one he knows, who doesn't have any problems. When I asked him what he meant, he said I don't have problems of my own, just other people's. hah