Report 35

Stim Morane: there are many pressures to live an a disconnected way, Yes, Mick
but these are just moves on a game board/they don't literally "force" us to follow/we just play along, when we don't need to

Dao wrote: ** Preliminary notes:  Stim is asking for a 7 day report on the day of and the week following Thanksgiving **

Saturday - was a general pattern of hiding in little pockets I make for myself, on many weekends when the whole family is together. We operate less like a group than we did when the children were younger.

Sunday - a very full day, but feeling a sense of exposure on a few levels... experiencing some of the 'contracting' we taked about a few weeks ago during the open session. Took down some writings from various places...drew in a bit. 

Monday - a bit tired, emotionally, maybe sad. I can see that things changing in my life right now are the result of my having made room/place, which doesn't mean I feel up to the tasks. I guess that's where I would tell someone else that truly knowing that you aren't up to the tasks is a positive, because 'you' can't do it effectively anyway... whatever it is.   We talked about impermanence yesterday, at HW group, and that was enormously helpful.

Also this that I read on a pab log just a moment ago:    

Stim Morane: "drop" doesn't have to mean "cease" ... it can just mean "hold in a new way"       

Tuesday - Better today. A feeling of freedom in discipline, and of discomfort being part of a larger process which I ultimately, trust. Read today, a section of a Rumi story in which he talks about discernment and two advisors within us, one generous and one stingy. This part I thought was lovely, and for some reason seems very important.

Haman is your mind
and the way it protects your sensual comforts, saying about
wisdom and the light of spirit,
"Be sensible. There's no evidence for these claims. Mystics
are often insane." There's another
inner advisor, one like Asaf is with Solomon. Listen to
that voice, light pouring
into light, ambergris on jasmine. Perfect your ability to
distinguish the two
advisors.