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SM: real seeing = "seeing nothing" or "seeing just what's present" or "Hi, how are you today!" We're just working towards that: naturalness: hence my interest in Pila's point about wu wei and yin and yang: natural

The backdrop of my question shows what I think is the difference between disconnecting versus connecting, and perhaps an instance of wu-wei ...

My daughter had school schedule changes which needed to be made, so I made an appointment. When they called me from the outer office, I entered the small office I was directed to, and sat down. The counselor was talking a hundred miles a minute and frantically shuffing paperwork/email/talking. She reacted to my sitting down as though I were a hundred people storming in...in other words very defensively. I was taken aback, BUT I was also completely aware that there was a great deal of projection going on.  What this caused in me, rather than either shutting down or becoming aggressive in return (which were the two choices I might have seen 'mentally' normally), was a consideration of all the parents who were probably storming in, and all the work there must be for this person...that each office person was doing the work of at least three since budget cuts, etc. 

So I didn't dissociate. My reaction was sincere. And this was quick.

What was very nice about this experience, is that I didn't stop and talk myself through this in order to make an effort to behave 'compassionately'. I didn't even feel adrenaline rise. After a while, I did matter-of-factly state that though I now knew all the workings of the office, we hadn't discussed my daughter at all, which in itself was a 'bolder' comment than I normally would make. So it wasn't that I was passive, either.
My honest reaction was that I wanted to say "Hey, breathe, it will be okay." And though I'm recounting the situation now as an example, it also wasn't that I left the office feeling "Oh look how I handled that." I didn't feel that I'd handled anything... just that I hadn't gotten stuck in it. Writing it here is like a snapshot.

This is exactly the kind of 'positive boldness' which seems to be the result of seeing 'through' things and being able to open whatever situation appears.

So the question is: There are also things in 'my life' which have seemed stuck ...some for quite a few years. I have had a sense of trust that it is better to wait for clarity, and surely I've seen that happen and affect many things, but sometimes I wonder. It seems a different thing to address those things which are 'on the plate' but don't have deadlines somehow.

Sometimes just asking the questionhelps. I guess we'll see, but wisdom to offer would also be appreciated. :)