Report 37

Working with choices keeps me working with desires, which has come to seem dynamic as a way to excavate that 'living being' whose expression isn't always convenient and predictable, but is also not out to wreck everything. Learning to trust.

Right now the choices I've been making have to do with exposures... beginning to talk openly with friends and family about things that are obvious anyway, or simply not hiding from conversations which come up... trusting that if they come up it is because the timing is right. Mostly I have found relief, and in the same way as I found allowing 'normal' to be surprising, I am finding "really obviously imperfect" surprising, and even a way to show love. :)

Good friends relate things back to me that seem so different from the way I see myself. For instance I experience myself as a bit of a scattered mess sometimes. Continually though, I'm told that I'm grounded and responsible and patient... so strange.  

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