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Except when it’s ‘quiet’, there is a constant stream of thoughts and emotions that seem to be coming and going. But now I realise that they are stored somewhere, ready to pop up and interact. It must be tiring carrying this burden yet I don’t see this effect directly.

In a broad sense, there are many examples of “mind going” as in ‘living in the past’ and ‘worrying about the future’. More specifically I was able to observe a series of related/seemingly unrelated thoughts regarding an object today. I was surprised to see the sheer amount of thoughts rising up from a fleeting glimpse that wasn’t deliberate (a chair that I need to repair or replace). Just to think that I first thought of it purposefully once last week.

So far I’ve been able to see parts of a cycle, not the whole. But it seems that I am very good at collecting/storing experiences that strengthen specific self-images which could be quite problematic. I can see why “button pushers” can be useful personally – if/how I react points to these self images and stories. Guess it’s a start … feeling a bit exhausted now.