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I lost my patience a few days ago along the line of "why can't you be bla." ... em ... goodie, I failed miserably. It's not just unpleasant but also physically painful if feeling not ok. Rather than something has been changed, probably I just see it happening more often and clearly. But I do [somewhat grudgingly] accept that it will be a while before I find out how to handle different situations.

During this week's Tai Chi class, I noticed some people in twos, practising 'pushing and pulling' with their hands locked in. So I spent some time thinking about yielding not out of fear but out of understanding and acceptance afterwards. I'm still at observing or/and looking for 'self' though.