Report 37

My choices have had to do with what I've been calling exposures, but a better word would be disclosures... with simply not hiding... trust, confidence... learning to in essence, act out of a place of 'no cages' etc.

Staying with that...seeing what that means.  

There have been two crisis at home this week, it feels to me that there are ways to handle things that would be preferable but due to having to cooperate with another person I'm not able to. I had an angry dream a few weeks ago, of just yelling "I am done with this." It felt good. :) 

As for the practice though, I've found that since the first extended breathing excercize (have returned to it for shorter periods) breathing is 'first' ... I'm very concious of taking/giving, arriving/returning...settling into no-ground ground. I've considered Shunyru Suzuki's 'swinging door' image quite a bit, and ways in which we construct and deconstruct our 'self' or 'selves' continually.

It isn't lost on me that my reports dwell on the same themes, which does not mean that I'm just doing my own thing. :)

There are brilliantly unfolding subtleties and distinctions, and certainly there is a greater sense of allowing the living being that Stim wants to hear from... that living being who appreciates fully and loves fully and makes it possible for the freeing mentioned above... who knows that sadness has its work to do, and lets it... then lets it go.

Unsticking. Unkeeping. Fluidity... :)     

Came across a line in reading which I thought spoke to what Stim has been pointing to for us to uncover:

"The natural expression of pure being is its own antidote."

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