Report 26

Practical Applications

I find myself in an interesting state this week, having a sense of everything open and looking for instances of where this plays itself out. Today I let myself become 'deliberaely' iritated over something that I can see right through, and yet wasn't 'sure' whether to address or let go. I 'felt like' I should now know 'everything' easily. Hah.

So it wasn't the situation, but it was that I wasn't immediately responsive to the situation...like I had missed a moment. I have a cold, and am surprised by how much this matters to the situation... that perhaps I keep myself in a rather energized/mindful state in which things I address are able to fall away, but this is not necessarily the 'default' state. 

(notices how much she uses the *I* in the above paragraph)

Insight feels to have changed 'everything', in a way, and so there comes a kind of confusion about why everything doesn't just fall into line *obviously*... like I'm in a delay. I experience, on one level, everything open and even 'resolved', but then am looking at unresolved things and those are the things others see too. :) 

Stim Morane: Eliza, does this relate to what you were calling "empty threats"?
Eliza Madrigal: yes very much so
Eliza Madrigal: if I 'react' to a kind of outward production of things, I can get stuck there
Stim Morane: it's a bit of a stretch, since one's sense of self is not exactly a threat
Stim Morane: but I see ...