Report 19

Reflected last week and the beginning of this one on 'Going', 'Going over" and 'Letting go'.

Today I found myself, in discussing habitual patterns, using the metaphor of unpacking items in a box in Second Life. When you buy items in a box, the process goes that you open the box and there are a number of related items in just one box. For me it is useful to realize that I might not have to take on and keep every item that comes in a box, even when it seems to 'belong'.

If I can leave some items in one box, I might then leave items another time. 

A major habitual pattern which causes suffering in my life is that of worry and self-judgement ie. 'rethinking'  or 'going over' the way I've done things. Taking responsibility is one thing, but re-living is another.   

Recently I've gone through a time of even trying to create similar situations to 'go through' with better judgement. Truthfully, the results of that were great, and definitely a step up, but still missed the point because still, I was 'fixing' things.   

What I hope I'm beginning to notice is that *The* situation exactly, is not going to come up again. Something similar perhaps might arise. When/if that situation does arise naturally, one should hope to face it in a calm way that allows for wisdom to shine through. That isn't really 'mental' prep. 

I also notice that missing a few days of meditation is a really bad idea. I've had to remind myself (as well as a few others) that my enthusiasm for these subjects should never be mistaken for experience. :)