As I rest in this “Abode,” I am suddenly aware that I harbor a strong preference:
“It should have been the first one we explored.”
How could I give Metta to a world so fragmented and judged by my own preferences? How could I be compassionate in a world so wounded by my own prejudice?
How, indeed, can I be loving and compassionate to myself as I cling to so many notions of “individual specialness”?
Especially resourceful and independent, especially wasteful of freedom and resources, especially experienced in diverse activities, especially cloistered in a tiny hermit cosmos, etc. etc.
Equanimity is, for me, a far more challenging ‘abode’ than either loving-kindness or compassion. I could avoid giving loving-kindness and compassion to myself while almost totally focusing on “others.” With equanimity, I am challenged to look into worlds that mirror my own projections, judgments, and reactiveness.
And thus the practice expands:
Looking inward and looking outward, seeing whatever rises free of preference and prejudice.
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Hi Bruce!
Just noticed that in some renderings of the four immeasurables, equanimity is first as you intuited -- http://www.thubtenchodron.org/PrayersAndPractices/explanation_of_the_four_immeasurables.html
Thanks for your perceptive and thoughtful participation!
Dao