Report 19

Over last few weeks, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed, also a bit frightened, by the sheer scale of the task. It seems impossible yet hopeful at the same time … it’s a bit contradictory.

I have tried to concentrate on seeing codependent nature of ‘going’, ‘goer’ or ‘gone to’ this week. Instead I’ve seen how ‘I’ gives a rise to ‘s/he’. Possibly because my focus unconsciously has been on division, openness and emptiness over last few weeks. I am left with numerous questions … I suspect answers to these question could be ‘that’s just the way it is.’

The example:
I felt irritated by someone tryting to reach me rather persistently (not leaving messages just ringing continuously). There was a very strong sense of ‘I’ and ‘the other’ when I saw myself getting irrated over it. My thoughts were “why does s/he …”, “why can’t s/he …” etc. that led me to see this demanding ‘I’.