Report 61

Patience, Part 2

Feeling inspired by Zen's report -- he asks if patience might be an unnecessary virtue, whereas to me his report seems the very essence of patience: the willingness to abide with what is, appreciatively, compassionately, staying with the good stuff, the bad stuff, all the "stuff" as what the buddha nature directly is.  

For a couple of weeks or so, I've been surprised (tickled even) to notice how many little plans and agendas I pick up through my ordinary way of perceiving and doing -- just the day to day.  Sitting down for practice is usually the time I notice these acretions (the rest of the day, I know they must be happening, but somehow am clueless beyond just an intellectual supposition). It has sometimes meant a slow negotiation with impatient or excited thoughts about what I need to do, etc. (just one more second, just pause between these two breaths).  It's also sometimes a reviving kind of stillness that centers around relaxation in the abdomen (hara).  This stillness is largely without thoughts, an easy sense of attention, a way of way of breathing that feels open / boundless and gentle, a wholeness that doesn't require a supposition of distance or extent yet is inclusive of all.  Sometimes a bit of this stillness will trickle into emptiness, and in particular the emptiness / timelessness of action and seeing -- a bit of a surprise to me since I'm usually more obsessed with subject and object (and perhaps subject as object).